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shoz3n

Tantos Uriu Mot del SOL
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There was once a thing called dreams. not anymore, all that's left is emptiness. There was once warm smiles, no more just an empty cold blank stare. The once beautiful thoughts that reside ground down to the marrow, now nothing. And every hope harrowed by the blades of selfish impulses. As every new nightmare is takes on your face, i hope that your happy. The most beautiful thing in existence is now the bane of my very being. SUDDENLY appearing only to cut me down lower than i was before as if rock bottom was really the first floor. and they ask me why i blankly stare. because the only thing iv ever wanted was someone to love, someone to cherish, someone t hold dear someone to care for who also cared. But you cant find that anywhere, or so it seemed, until you found me, just to crush everything that i had left, my last drips of hope. pretending to pull me to safety just to seconds before i reach ground to cut the rope and hurl me back into the abyss of solitude. 

I hope that your happy.
and i hope that your smiling at my emanate demise.
you have a beautiful smile.
you really do.

down to the very last seconds it was all worth while.
so thank you for everything.
goodbye.
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Every time that i open my eyes, I realize that i was better off keeping them closed. As the dream that i call my past, and nightmare that is reality have long since caught up to me.

And i realize that the harder i try, the harder it gets.
And i realize the more that i try to talk the less anyone listens.

But slowly, ever so slowly my life seems to take a turn for the better. Spinning like a gyroscope, and as it gets better i realize that im still spinning.

That any moment ill bypass my goal and have to wait untill the chance comes again, and again, and again.

Waiting for a phone call that never happens.
Looking for that closure that dosent exist.

And if i collected all of my memories into one moment.
One life experience, i would have a spectacular life.

Compared to others that are less fourtunate.
And yet at the same time id much prefer giving them my beat up sneakers, and walk barefoot in their shoes.

As you only live once and only get one chance, and every memory you have is yours alone even those shared with friends.

If the person you ignore today was to die tomarrow..
how would you feel?

But you dont think like that right, your life is just so busy to tell someone hi.

To ask someone how their day is going, even if you dont care, Even if you hate them, even if they hurt you, even if you hurt them and are too afraid to admit you were wrong. Im almost certain than noone that this is about will realize it. Or even stop to take a chance and read it. I have nothing els to say, but thank you everyone whos helpd me to realize who i am. And thank you again, to eveyone whos ever hurt me. And apologies to anyone iv ever hurt. Have a nice life and bye.
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To say.
Nothing els to speak.
Not another moment seek.
No more air to breathe.
Not a moments reprieve.
I doubt ill ever come back from this.
Or recover.
But, you will, so it didnt matter ither way.

This will be my last journal,. Not like anyone actually read my journals for content anyway.,
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but i did gip birthday wishes and even some points from a few of my friends on DA. I really miss marcoz though, [i know that youll be reading this your not just like a brother to me. you ARE my brother, and ill alwase be here for you.] as for my new secret crush, ill keep that to myself XP but anywase, THANK YOU for everyone that gave me birthday wishes.

also my road trip is looking a bit dry but it will look up the quicker i get this job, :T
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but iv been procrastinateing.. i wish marcoz was here. hhhhhhhhh, nothing makes sence anymore.
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Featured

There was once a thing called dreams. by shoz3n, journal

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i have an amazing idea..... by shoz3n, journal